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Ichabeezer Moves Out/Transcript
This is an episode transcript for Ichabeezer Moves Out. Transcript (Scene opens to Ichabeezer looking happy while standing outside of Pa Grape's store while Rooney is heard barking.) Ichabeezer: (chuckling) Oh, my little Rooney! You know something? You're the only one I wanna spend time with on my birthday. Rooney: (barking) (Rooney licks Ichabeezer, before Ichabeezer hugs him, just as a carrot man comes up to him.) Carrot Man: Good morning, Mr. Ichabeezer. Ichabeezer: Can't you see I'm not a nice person? (The carrot man sadly passes by after that, before Ichabeezer puts the leash on Rooney and enters the store. The instant Ichabeezer enters the store, he is suddenly met with a surprise party, courtesy of Bob, Larry, Madame Blueberry, Petunia, Bacon Bill, and Pa.) All: Happy birthday, Ichabeezer! Ichabeezer: (screams) (Ichabeezer tries to run away, but Rooney runs the opposite way and because of the leash, they end up getting stretched back towards each other. Bob comes up to Ichabeezer.) Ichabeezer: What are you trying to do to me? Bob: Surprise you! Ichabeezer: Well, you almost succeeded in giving me a heart attack! Petunia: Oh, sorry about your heart. But how would you like your favorite cake? Ichabeezer: Oh, let me guess, chocolate cake! Bob: No, it's- Ichabeezer: I dislike chocolate cake! Bet you didn't know that, did you? Petunia: Yes, we did. It's black licorice- Ichabeezer: Nobody cares that I like black licorice marmalade prune cake! Petunia: But, Ichabeezer- (Ichabeezer angrily takes the cake from Petunia without listening to her, before throwing it out the store as it flies around town.) Corn Man: Runaway cake! Duck and cover! (The cake flies through the House, then out the window, before it lands in a nearby bush outside. Back inside the store, Petunia is surprised at what Ichabeezer did.) Ichabeezer: No one ever gets me what I like! (Ichabeezer picks up a fork and uses it to pop the balloons.) Ichabeezer: I like ragtime, they play me swing! (pops more balloons) I like walnuts, they give me coconuts! Are those even nuts? I like the theater, they get me movie tickets! (Ichabeezer is about to pop another balloon but Bob stops him.) Bob: Ichabeezer, if you would listen for a moment, maybe you would realize- Ichabeezer: Can it, tomato paste! The last thing I want for my birthday is another one of your lectures! (Ichabeezer pops the balloon above Bob after that.) Ichabeezer: Now, if you'll excuse me, I came to buy dog biscuits. Rooney: (barking) Bacon Bill: (laughing) Don't forget birthday tickles! Cootchie-cootchie-coo! Ichabeezer: Knock it off! (laughing) Stop it! Hey, that's enough! (Ichabeezer grabs Bacon Bill, bends him into a boomerang shape, then throws him out the store.) Bacon Bill: Whee! Ichabeezer: Right now, I am packing everything I own and moving out of this town once and for all! All: (gasps) (Ichabeezer picks up Rooney and goes to leave, just as Bacon Bill flies back into the store.) Ichabeezer: Goodbye forever! (Ichabeezer leaves the store, while Bacon Bill falls off the train track he landed on. Bob, Larry, Petunia, Madame Blueberry, and Pa can only stare in surprise. Scene switches to Ichabeezer's mansion.) Ichabeezer: Hello, moving company? I'm moving today and I want you here pronto! (The doorbell rings after that.) Ichabeezer: That's what I call pronto. (Ichabeezer opens the door and becomes sour to see Larry, Bacon Bill, Jimmy, and Jerry at the door, while a moving truck is parked in front of the mansion.) Jimmy: Jimmy's Moving Company at your service. Jerry: Moving! Ichabeezer: Oh no, no, no, no. No way I'm letting you clowns touch my antique ham bones, fine china, and museum property schooner. Why, this stuff is worth a fortune! (Larry, Bacon Bill, Jimmy, and Jerry rush back and forth to take everything out of the mansion while Ichabeezer is saying this. When Ichabeezer turns around, he is surprised to see the entire mansion now completely devoid of anything, except for a stray piece of paper which Jerry quickly picks up as well, while Jimmy is writing down the cost on a clipboard.) Ichabeezer: I have to admit, that's not bad. You didn't even break anything. (Larry and Bacon Bill are now carrying a grandfather clock down the stairs.) Larry: Just a few items left! Like this irreplaceable grandfather clock! Whoa! (Bacon Bill slips down the stairs, causing him and the grandfather clock to fall down the stairs, as the grandfather clock lands on the floor.) Ichabeezer: (snarling) That clock was priceless! Bacon Bill: It was priceless? Phew! I thought it'd be expensive! Ichabeezer: (growling) Jimmy: Now, now, it's not all Bill's fault, someone covered it in bacon grease! (Bacon Bill points at Larry.) Larry: Don't worry, we'll fix it. We brought tape and stuff. Ichabeezer: Alright, fine. Just don't let it happen again! (Larry and Bacon Bill pick up the grandfather clock and carry it again, but Jerry, who is pushing a grand piano, accidentally bumps into the grandfather clock, sending it flying out the door and landing out in the street in front of the mansion, breaking in the process, which Larry, Bacon Bill, Jimmy, and Jerry are surprised to see. A car suddenly runs over the grandfather clock, followed afterwards by a train, then another train, then more cars, before a random grand piano lands on top of the grandfather clock, followed by an even larger grand piano, which completely demolishes the grandfather clock, before the grand piano bursts into flames and disperses after that. Ichabeezer can only stare in wide-eyed shock at what just happened then bangs his head on his piano in frustration.) Ichabeezer: (bawling) I just want to move away! Please let me move away! (Scene switches to back at Pa Grape's store, where Pa is stacking the shelf, while Bob and Petunia are upset about what happened, while Bob is drinking a milkshake.) Petunia: Ichabeezer. What a cake ruiner! Bob: To think we even made his favorite cake and he tossed it out the window! Why even try to make him happy? Petunia: Maybe he'll finally be happy when he moves away. Bob: Yeah! Petunia: Yeah! Bob: Oh-ho-ho yeah! Petunia: No. Bob: Yeah, infinite billion- wait, no? Petunia: No, we can't just give up on him. Bob: How can we help him see the good right in front of his own green nose? Pa: You could put on a play. Petunia: Pa's right, he loves theater! Bob: Like a William Shakespear play? Petunia: You could play the role of Ichabeezer! Bob: Me? An actor? But I'm nothing like Ichabeezer! Petunia: You gotta get into character. Imagine you have a lawn that is as precious as your sock collection, and kids are stomping all over it. Bob: (grunting) Get off my lawn! Both: (laughing) Petunia: Perfect! I'll write the script! (Scene switches to back at Ichabeezer's mansion, while Bacon Bill is directing the moving truck.) Bacon Bill: Come on back! Keep coming! Keep coming! (The back of the moving truck suddenly crashes through the front of the mansion, right in front of Ichabeezer and Rooney, before Jimmy approaches him while coughing, before the back of the moving truck opens up after that.) Jimmy: Did I park too close? Ichabeezer: (angrily) Thanks for installing the garage door, Jimmy! Jimmy: No, extra charge! (winks) (Bacon Bill suddenly tumbles out of the back of the moving truck with the suit of armor bust stuck on his head and crashes next to Ichabeezer, before Ichabeezer's phone starts ringing, as Bacon Bill answers it.) Bacon Bill: This is Bacon Bill on Ichabeezer's cool expensive phone! (Pa Grape is revealed to be the one calling.) Pa: Ichabeezer? Bacon Bill: (whispering, to Ichabeezer) It's for you. Ichabeezer: Get off my phone! (Ichabeezer takes his phone back from Bacon Bill.) Pa: Ichabeezer, I thought you'd like to know that we're having a big sale on golf pants! Ichabeezer: A sale on golf pants? I'll be right over! (Ichabeezer hangs up and goes to leave, before facing Jimmy again.) Ichabeezer: Don't break anything else. I gotta get cheap golf pants. (Ichabeezer and Rooney leave, at the same time that Bacon Bill is now carrying a floor lamp. Scene switches to Pa Grape's store as Ichabeezer enters and comes up to Pa.) Ichabeezer: Now where are those golf pants? Pa: Uh, maybe you should sit down right here for a minute. (Ichabeezer does as Pa tells him before he starts drinking a milkshake.) Ichabeezer: You know, I'm gonna miss this place. Well, not you, grape, or the people, or well, this place. On second thought, I won't miss anything! (laughing) Pa: But maybe you'll miss the theater! Ichabeezer: What theater? Pa: Behold! (The lights suddenly dim after that, before Mr. Lunt is seen playing the piano, before Petunia then comes into the spotlight after that.) Petunia: Welcome to our presentation of "Thank God for Ichabeezer". (Bob then comes in while pretending to be Ichabeezer, then brings out some gold bars.) Bob: Gold bars! I want more gold bars! (Ichabeezer still drinks the milkshake, but becomes surprised at what he's witnessing.) Ichabeezer: Is that supposed to be me? Petunia: Some say Ichabeezer's just a grump! Bob: I'm Ichabeezer! Check out all this gold! (Pa then comes in while pretending to be a kid.) Pa: La-la-la-la-la! Bob: Get off my lawn, you kids! Rooney: (barking) Petunia: But Ichabeezer had much to be thankful for. Ichabeezer: Oh, wait a minute. (The lights come back on after that.) Ichabeezer: You call this theater?! Bah! Nice try, Bob and Petunia! Petunia: Wait! You'll miss the choreographed dance number! Ichabeezer: Even better! (Ichabeezer leaves the store after that. Scene switches to back at Ichabeezer's mansion, where Bacon Bill is holding up a plate.) Bacon Bill: Beep beep! Vroom! Hi, Mr. Ichabeezer! Ichabeezer: Yello, Bacon Bill! (Ichabeezer goes into the closet and brings out a pirate cannon, aiming it at the back of the moving truck, where Bacon Bill is sitting.) Bacon Bill: Hmm. How did we miss that pirate cannon? Ichabeezer: Uh, you might want to get off the moving truck, bacon! Bacon Bill: Are we playing pirates? Ichabeezer: We're playing "Blast the moving truck out of my house"! (The pirate cannon blasts the moving truck directly out of Ichabeezer's mansion, sending the moving truck flying through the air above Larry, Jimmy, and Jerry.) Jerry: Unsafe working conditions! (The knight's helmet lands on Jimmy's head, before the moving truck then starts rolling away after it lands.) Larry: Get that truck! Jerry: My truck! Larry: It's driving away all by itself! (The moving truck swerves through town, as Larry, Jimmy, Jerry, and Bacon Bill chase after it.) Larry: Runaway truck! (The moving truck drives around a set of buildings as Larry, Jimmy, Jerry, and Bacon Bill still chase after it, but after the third time, the moving truck is nowhere to be found.) All: (screaming) (The foursome run away as the moving truck heads their way. Scene switches to back at Ichabeezer's now-empty mansion, as Ichabeezer approaches his segway.) Ichabeezer: Rooney, there comes a time when a man must just let it all go. (Ichabeezer puts on his backpack and gets on his segway.) Ichabeezer: A time when a man must get off his own lawn and go to the woods to live by himself. (Rooney jumps onto the segway with Ichabeezer.) Ichabeezer: Hold tight! (Ichabeezer drives off on the segway and leaves, at the same time that the moving truck drives by again with Larry, Jimmy, Jerry, and Bacon Bill chasing after it while screaming. Scene switches to Ichabeezer and Rooney now in the woods, where Ichabeezer is now sitting in front of the campfire and roasting a marshmallow over the fire.) Ichabeezer: Hear that, boy? That's right, complete silence. They say silence is golden, and you know me. (laughing) I love anything golden! (Rooney suddenly starts smelling the air before he starts following the scent, which catches Ichabeezer's attention. Rooney then goes into the bushes and brings out the cake that Ichabeezer threw away earlier.) Ichabeezer: Whoa! You catch a wild cake? Hey, this is that chocolate cake I hurled across town! (sniffing) This isn't chocolate cake, Rooney, it's black licorice marmalade prune cake! My favorite! (Ichabeezer eats the cake in one bite.) Ichabeezer: Wow, all my life, no one ever took the time to find out my favorite cake. They just gave me chocolate. Rooney: (barking) (Rooney runs off then brings Ichabeezer's backpack to him.) Ichabeezer: Rooney, they really do care about me! We have to go back and make this right! (Ichabeezer puts on his backpack and brings out his segway while Rooney barks excitedly, before getting on the segway and driving away from the woods again. After Ichabeezer leaves, the moving truck swerves towards the lake while Larry and Jimmy are chasing after it, as the moving truck falls into the lake, the horn beeping underwater.) Jimmy: Well, I guess that stopped it. Larry: Thanks, pond! (Scene switches to Larry and Jimmy entering Pa Grape's store, while Bob, Petunia, Pa, and Bacon Bill are saddened.) Jimmy: I lost my moving truck. Bob: My first play was a flop. Bacon Bill: Cows have four stomachs. All: (sighs) Ichabeezer: Attention, everyone! I have- Well, I realize now that you all actually do care about me. And this is where I belong. All: Aw! Ichabeezer: Well, Bob and Petunia, how about that choreographed musical number now? Bob: You got it, Ichabeezer! (Bob and Petunia come forward, as Mr. Lunt starts playing the piano once again.) Bob: (singing) You've got to think of All the good things in life Petunia: (singing) Like your favorite quiche And Salisbury steak Buying your favorite golf pants Down at ol' Pa Grape's Bob: (singing) Think of all your good friends Like the ones who bake Your snarky doodle strudel And delicious prune cake Both: (singing) Look for the good things in life Thank God for the good things in life Not the things that make you grumpy Or the things that bring you strife You've got to look For the good things in life Look for the good things in life Thank God for the good things in life Not the things that make you grumpy Or the things that bring you strife You've got to look For the good things in life You've got to look For the good things in life! (The song ends as everyone starts cheering, while Rooney starts barking as he comes up to Ichabeezer and licks his face.) Ichabeezer: Jimmy, I'd like to hire you to move my stuff back into my mansion. (Jimmy and Jerry look uneasily at each other.) Jimmy: Uh, you have any scuba gear? (The moving truck sinks completely into the lake outside the House, as the screen goes dark, ending the episode.)Category:Transcripts Category:VeggieTales in the House transcripts Category:Finished Transcripts